10 ways to shift your Mindset in a New Job Market
Wed, Jan 4 2012 12:32
| new skills, career fulfillment, mindset, success, improve interpersonal skills, people skills, new job market
10 ways to shift your mindset in a new job market
1. Mindful thinking means more than just reading about it –connecting your heart and mind isn’t Pollyanna stuff –it's powerful and necessary.
2. Slow is the new fast -use turtle steps not baby steps. In a fast and furious world learning new skill sets, starting projects and building lasting results will matter with slow accurate steps. Try not to judge your pace.
3. It’s ok to wing it-not everything has to be a “how to” or “preplanned” to be successful -lean on your intuition for guidance.
4. Changing your mind in goal planning is considered an advantage to knowing yourself and being clear of what you want.
5. Pushing emotions away only means that they will show up in an important meeting, you may lash out to the people you love, or pushing them down to deal with later – kind of like a beach ball that won't stay down –learn to release emotions instead of suppress them.
6. As big as social media will be-social skills will be scarce-continue to build your interpersonal skills and relationship building skills.
7. Focus on your successes not failures for motivation.
8. Tunnel vision is not a best practice –learn the practice of stepping out of the box to visualize a solution and stay open minded.
9. Getting help doesn’t mean you are weak –it is valuable for your truth and can lead to a better vision or perspective.
10. Fulfillment is the key to happiness. Choose wisely, if you are wrong just choose again.
1. Mindful thinking means more than just reading about it –connecting your heart and mind isn’t Pollyanna stuff –it's powerful and necessary.
2. Slow is the new fast -use turtle steps not baby steps. In a fast and furious world learning new skill sets, starting projects and building lasting results will matter with slow accurate steps. Try not to judge your pace.
3. It’s ok to wing it-not everything has to be a “how to” or “preplanned” to be successful -lean on your intuition for guidance.
4. Changing your mind in goal planning is considered an advantage to knowing yourself and being clear of what you want.
5. Pushing emotions away only means that they will show up in an important meeting, you may lash out to the people you love, or pushing them down to deal with later – kind of like a beach ball that won't stay down –learn to release emotions instead of suppress them.
6. As big as social media will be-social skills will be scarce-continue to build your interpersonal skills and relationship building skills.
7. Focus on your successes not failures for motivation.
8. Tunnel vision is not a best practice –learn the practice of stepping out of the box to visualize a solution and stay open minded.
9. Getting help doesn’t mean you are weak –it is valuable for your truth and can lead to a better vision or perspective.
10. Fulfillment is the key to happiness. Choose wisely, if you are wrong just choose again.
Comments
Lean into life purpose rather than feeling lost
Mon, Nov 28 2011 12:04
| life purpose, feeling stuck, passionate career, tips to identify life purpose, passionate life, few small steps, unmotivated
Jane wakes up out of bed, hits snooze too many times, goes through the motions of getting ready for work, feels herself dragging as usual and says to herself-“Is this all there is in life?” She never intended to feel so unmotivated but has somehow found herself wanting something different, more meaningful.
If you have asked yourself this question and feel the way Jane does every day, you may need to consider a change. While change can be scary for many people, changing the way we do things each day is the only way to begin leading a purposeful life.
Many people believe that life purpose is a project. That it is a hard thing to find in the noise of the world. In a way it is. The distraction of technology is endless, and not living the rat race can leave you feeling abnormal or unaccomplished.
If you wake up everyday and realize you have a hollow feeling inside that is not getting fulfilled from a relationship, job, your health or business, you may feel lost. Let’s face it there is no big sign on the road that says “ Find your life purpose here,” otherwise I think there could be a longer line there than at Starbucks
There is nothing more telling than that hollow or lost feeling inside, so welcome it in and allow it a voice. It is there to tell you to listen to who you really are and what you want. It is there to tell you to make that deeper connection and reach inside to that quiet place. That’s the place that you haven’t connected with in years, maybe decades. The good news is you are born with a purpose or a calling. No one can take it away from you and we all have the ability to connect with it. Consider it misplaced, not lost.
Many people use the word “lost” because there is no direction; you walk into uncertainty and it feels like everything you define yourself by doesn’t make you happy anymore, or no longer feels meaningful.
There are many positive ways to look at feeling disconnected from your life. It allows you to go on an adventure, relearn what you really like.
When you begin to look for your life purpose, lean into it rather than force yourself, because that will only lead you back into a hollow life.
What do I mean by lean?
Like my friend and mentor Martha Beck taught me, just start by noticing what makes you feel good; those heartfelt moments, what attracts you and where that comes from in that moment.
Sometimes we would like this process to move quickly because we don’t like the way we feel when we go through such shaky grounds. Look at it as recreating a new foundation for yourself; like a blank canvas that needs new paint. Be kind to yourself and give yourself gentle nudges, rather than paying attention to the sergeant like voice in your head that says you are moving too slow. You will eventually build momentum to map out some directions for yourself, but first you have to start.
Here are three steps to help you lean into life’s purpose.
1-Connect with simple joys
There is no cookie cutter recipe to help you describe what a simple joy is for you. You want to connect with what you consider pleasurable because it brings a sense of connection to your true self.
When searching for purpose, we don’t realize a lot of that has to do with remembering what brings you happiness. For me, it’s a great cup of coffee. For others it could be running. For some it’s a sunset or the beach, perhaps it’s free time for others, reading a book or never paying attention to the time. You get my drift.
This is part of leaning into your true likes and pleasures and cutting out things or activities that inundate your daily life and have no meaning. So the key is to find activities, moments, and strategies that bring you some real joy.
So how do you know if it is real joy? You will know it because you will feel it; that physical and emotional peace. This is a key exercise to consider because it is important to build a foundation of truth from your basic pleasures of life.
This is a way to lean into life purpose. You are opening space to bring in the newness.
2 - Use guided imagery to articulate your true purpose.
We all get hijacked by our left brain because that is the verbal section of our minds that wants to quickly label our next venture. So when we get out to discover a purposeful life, our left brain loves to jump in and begin labeling who we are and what’s next.
To prevent this from happening use guided imagery because it is a creative process that triggers right brain activity. When you can’t articulate what you want your soul speaks through images. When we search for purpose we want to connect with our core self and allow our soul to guide us to a more purposeful life. Begin collecting images or words that you realize you are attracted to. You can use magazines, newspapers, and articles, whatever you feel attracted to cut out or stick on a board. Here is the key - no judging, censoring or editing yourself. This is a creative exercise, so allow yourself to free flow and have fun with it. The results will give you some guidance when you can’t articulate what you want.
And take my advice - don’t get stuck on where each image should be pasted like I did. There are no rules. Just cut and glue. My recommendation is to collect images or words for 30 days and place them in a box, and then glue them on at one time. Once the images and words are glued onto the board, allow yourself an open mind to see the clues into what a purposeful life may look like for you.
3 - Don’t chase it. It’s about meaning.
Like the coyote and the roadrunner - don’t waste your energy chasing it. Know what has meaning for you and only you. Don’t chase a meaningless life because that is what everyone else wants or because that is what you think you should want. Meaning is the substance to a purposeful life. It’s about what you think meaning is and learning how to identify what that is for you and how to determine the difference.
Lost? Try this. Set aside a shelf, table or other space that can be just for you. Now start collecting photos or objects from your life that have had meaning to you in the past. Perhaps that includes your college diploma, your grandmothers jade ring that has been around for generations, or even an award or trophy from a childhood moment.
While we can look for meaning outside ourselves, it can only be defined through your own definition or an experience. Knowing what has meaning for you is a great place to start. This gives you clarity into surrounding yourself with heartfelt things that are significant to you.
Hopefully Jane will follow your lead and walk through the above steps so that she can realize what gives her a peaceful connection, as well as identify clues from her vision board on what purpose and meaning is for her. Leaning into a purposeful life is less stressful, and these small steps matter because you are consciously present through the process. When you gain clarity on meaning, purpose and what you really want, the mapping out of it becomes a lot easier. Pay attention in the beginning, be present, welcome the feeling of not knowing everything. Once you know, it is easy to align your purpose with people, activities, jobs, and things that matter to you.
You will have paint on your canvas before you know it and it will be meaningful because you decided that for yourself when you were lost.
Ned Rios is a certified life coach that empowers professionals to connect with their strengths and passions in order to maximize their true individual performance.
Whether you are a career professional, transitioning to your own business or already an entrepreneur, Ned’s intuitive approach and strategies can guide you to increase your work passion, get inspired and grow your business while maintaining a lifestyle that fits your value system.
Ned is a certified life coach, writer, speaker and workshop leader. She co-authored a book released in October 2009 called Changes of the Heart –Align your personal strengths to find your purpose.
Download her audio “8 ways to revive your career or business” for free at HYPERLINK "http://www.nedrios.com" www.nedrios.com
Do our life circumstances have power over our happiness?
Thu, Oct 20 2011 03:32
robs her from happiness and achievement. I explained to her that we have more control over things than we think.
I mentioned the book I was reading called, Thrive by Dan Buettner
In the book he mentions these stats on how we can control our happiness by professor of psychologist PH.D.,Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want.
50% of individual difference is influenced by our genetic makeup (don't worry this can be changed)
40% is influenced by how we think and act everyday
10 % life circumstances
It was shocking to my client(s) that such a small % had to do with circumstance as it was for me when I read it.
Let's face it - we all like to turn and blame our life circumstance, for our misery or negativity.
Examples: Not enough business, money, time, jobs, stressful workplace, poor management, bad economy etc
If our life circumstance has only 10% to do with happiness then we have a lot more control of our happiness than we think
What would we do differently each day? Would that change the way we think and act each morning?
So the question remains how can we remind ourselves during stressful situations that we have more control over our happiness than we realize and to notice our negative thinking as it occurs regardless of our circumstances.
Here are 2 solutions:
Hit your RESET button
1) Kind of like how we reboot our computers or reset our printers and start over - only we do this in a way that allows us to think and feel differently about our stressful situation.
We all know it takes one situation that we consider bad to change the way we think and feel that can lead to a spiral motion of more negativity
Reset how you feel about the situation and move on.
Solution 2 Change Mindset Another way to look at it is to consider a circumstance to be neither good nor bad
· Think of something that truly would makes you laugh out loud or smile about a past memory that brings you peace
· Create awareness when you know it is happening (stops disruption of thought patterns)
· Think of a transition statement that would get you out of the negative mindset and into a different emotion that will change your mood, the energy or the situation for the better ie: this too shall pass, this is temporary, I have a plan to change things
· A thought that makes you feel better and allows you to make a small shift changes your energy and mood
These are small ways to manage and control your feelings -if it still doesn’t work for you begin learning the habits of a person that you consider happy -that may guarantee you the principles so you can replicate. Another alternative is to turn to Brooke Castillo’s Self Coaching 101 where you can learn a thinking model that would guarantee you a better feeling state.
Bottom line: Hit the reset button, state the truth of the situation and decide how to move onward for your sake and your happiness
And for the rest of us with the 50% genetic makeup -this doesn't mean your happiness levels cannot be changed. You too can reset the "set points" to learn the habits of happy people. I believe happy people know hot to hit their reset button successfully.
Remember everyone has a different definition of happiness –know yours for a successful turnout.
Comments (1)
Do life circumstance have control of our happiness?
Thu, Oct 20 2011 03:29
Do our life circumstances have power over our happiness?
A client and I were in a conversation a few weeks ago. Through our discussion she mentioned the stressful workplace situation and how that sometimes
robs her from happiness and achievement. I explained to her that we have more control over things than we think.
I mentioned the book I was reading called, Thrive by Dan Buettner
In the book he mentions these stats on how we can control our happiness by professor of psychologist PH.D.,Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want.
50% of individual difference is influenced by our genetic makeup (don't worry this can be changed)
40% is influenced by how we think and act everyday
10 % life circumstances
It was shocking to my client(s) that such a small % had to do with circumstance as it was for me when I read it.
Let's face it - we all like to turn and blame our life circumstance, for our misery or negativity.
Examples: Not enough business, money, time, jobs, stressful workplace, poor management, bad economy etc
If our life circumstance has only 10% to do with happiness then we have a lot more control of our happiness than we think
What would we do differently each day? Would that change the way we think and act each morning?
So the question remains how can we remind ourselves during stressful situations that we have more control over our happiness than we realize and to notice our negative thinking as it occurs regardless of our circumstances.
Here are 2 solutions:
Hit your RESET button
1) Kind of like how we reboot our computers or reset our printers and start over - only we do this in a way that allows us to think and feel differently about our stressful situation.
We all know it takes one situation that we consider bad to change the way we think and feel that can lead to a spiral motion of more negativity
Reset how you feel about the situation and move on.
Solution 2 Change Mindset Another way to look at it is to consider a circumstance to be neither good nor bad
· Think of something that truly would makes you laugh out loud or smile about a past memory that brings you peace
· Create awareness when you know it is happening (stops disruption of thought patterns)
· Think of a transition statement that would get you out of the negative mindset and into a different emotion that will change your mood, the energy or the situation for the better ie: this too shall pass, this is temporary, I have a plan to change things
· A thought that makes you feel better and allows you to make a small shift changes your energy and mood
These are small ways to manage and control your feelings -if it still doesn’t work for you begin learning the habits of a person that you consider happy -that may guarantee you the principles so you can replicate. Another alternative is to turn to Brooke Castillo’s Self Coaching 101 where you can learn a thinking model that would guarantee you a better feeling state.
Bottom line: Hit the reset button, state the truth of the situation and decide how to move onward for your sake and your happiness
And for the rest of us with the 50% genetic makeup -this doesn't mean your happiness levels cannot be changed. You too can reset the "set points" to learn the habits of happy people. I believe happy people know hot to hit their reset button successfully.
Remember everyone has a different definition of happiness –know yours for a successful turnout.
Can Foolishness Lead to better Marketing?
Tue, Sep 6 2011 01:46
| 4 ways to overcome marketing, strive for perfection, richard branson, become a great marketer, marketing, maria forleo
In the interview he was asked, “How do you become a great marketer?”
He said, “The way to do it is be willing to make a fool of yourself”
Ouch!
Are most people willing to do that? To stand tall and proud of what they want to share but make a fool out of themselves?
Looking back I remember my first presentation, first client I coached, first newsletter, new website etc. It was all in favor of sharing what I had to offer and growing my business. Now looking back I was out letting people know I existed. I guess you could say I was marketing through foolishness. I felt foolish at times. Not because I was hanging out of a plane with a banner of my services. But it felt foolish because I was presenting something new, programs I had created, a philosophy that I wanted to share with people that I believed in. It felt vulnerable.
Sometimes it may take foolishness to get out there and make something happen. Most of the time you are basically presenting yourself to others for the purpose of sharing your products or services to meet your customers needs.
Companies and people that do this well: Mattress Mack www.galleryfurntiure.com (for Houston peeps)
Southwest airlines www.southwestairlines.com
What do I think this can be translated into?
What do we need to do in order to get ourselves past the foolishness?
Here are some steps that I think will help you.
Step 1 Make a decision to be imperfect
We all know that practice makes perfect: sometimes it’s got to be done imperfect
before it can unfold to greatness: takes 10,000 hours to be a master at something
Step 2 Sometimes “Good is good enough”
Especially in the beginning or when it is something new –it’s human nature to want things to be great right out of the gate. But whether you are just starting off in your business or career it is important to focus on getting yourself into action by sharing what you have to offer. It doesn’t have to be in a big way but just be able to expose yourself, communicate your offerings and share what you got.
Step 3 Market through Authenticity and education
Be yourself. People know when you are not being authentic about what you are talking about. You will be surprised how this can effect your likeability factor: whether they buy from you or not–you still want to connect through authenticity and begin relationships. By doing this you get past foolishness and increase your ability to connect with people whether you market face-to-face or social media
Step 4 Just do it
The more we think about marketing we can become paralyzed.
We call it analysis paralysis. So think about something you do really well in your life. Take that same approach when it comes to marketing. It may feel uncomfortable or indifferent at first but I promise with perseverance you get past it and forget its marketing.
So if foolishness is part of the marketing process well these are ways to get past it.
You got this –I promise. Once you get past it –you will be glad you did it.
What can you do to market differently now? I invite you to share.
Weekly Question and Answer - Want vs. Need
Mon, Aug 8 2011 11:39
| need to do, wants, to do list, emotional exhaustion, time management, slow steps, physical exhaustion ho, how to find balance, how to start a business, priorities, out of balance
Client's Question:
Hi Ned,
Right now I’m concerned that I’m trying to do much. There are some things that I WANT(i.e. prepare for a fitness competition, rest) to do for myself and there are things I feel I NEED to do for my business(enter email addresses, blog). I feel like I’m having a hard time balancing. Do you have any suggestions for how to cope with wanting to do EVERYTHING or taking time to focus?
Thanks,
Stacie
Healthy Diva
http://www.fit2befab.com
Dear Stacie - You have some great questions.
Trying to do everything
First and foremost when clients mention to me that they want more balance.
We must figure out where you are not achieving balance physically and emotionally.
If in your mind you have so many things you are trying to accomplish you will become very overwhelmed and achieve none of it. Physically if you are exhausted because you are doing so many things then getting rest will rejuvenate you.
Wether you need to rest for a weekend in your pj's do so. If you need to just start going to bed early then incorporate that into your daily activity.
You do not want to reach a place of burn out because you are trying to accomplish so many things. So if sleeping in over the weekend and laying around would do you some good. Do it. You will become much more rejuvenated and able to work on what you are trying to accomplish.
Number 2:
Anytime you are going through changing directions in your life/career it is so important to remain focused.
Here are 2 ways you can do that.
1) Choose what I call 3 Pillars of Priority
and write them down Example: yours may be broken down in these 3 areas below.
Pillar One
Fitness
Pillar two
My business
add email addresses
blog
Pillar 3
You
When you list out 3 priorities that are your pillars you are saying these are my areas of focus.
Now you can begin listing small tasks under each area.
In order to remain focused you want to take the area of your life that you are least satisfied with and start there. So if becoming balanced and rested is a priority then you know that is under Pillar 3 (you as the priority) and you know when you feel out of balances that is Non Negotiable time and it is the most important pillar for you. Everything else can wait.
2) Slow is the new fast
Slow and steady creates long term results.
So although you want to make changes to your current business by adding for example email addressees. Take it in strides -add people slowly, no need to feel like all that has to be done now and all at once. Super stressful - so when you find yourself in that spot -take small steps to action. Small steps are defined as small action steps that feel achievable and not exhausting.
Blog if you want to, blog if you feel like it, blog when you really have something to share NOT because you really feel you have to. That gives off such frustrating energy and feels forced -you want to do this when you are in a place of feeling good. Don't worry about forcing yourself to blog so many times a month that you get burnt out. You want a quality blog.
An example of a small step would be to create a list of things you enjoy talking about and write when you feel inspired. You will be coming from a totally different space and energy. Your clients and prospects that read your blog will feel the difference.
Client's Response:
Dear Ned:
I like the “slow is the new fast”. It reminds me that in a “right now” society that I don’t have to conform all the time. Also, that if I am going to be beneficial to myself or others that it is a MUST sometimes because our bodies and brains are like machines and they aren’t always in overdrive so we shouldn’t either; we need to re-fuel, let the mechanisms rest and cool down, give attention to maintenance or we risk a blow-out, breakdown. If I breakdown then I’m no good to anybody or to my aim/purpose.
Hi Ned,
Right now I’m concerned that I’m trying to do much. There are some things that I WANT(i.e. prepare for a fitness competition, rest) to do for myself and there are things I feel I NEED to do for my business(enter email addresses, blog). I feel like I’m having a hard time balancing. Do you have any suggestions for how to cope with wanting to do EVERYTHING or taking time to focus?
Thanks,
Stacie
Healthy Diva
http://www.fit2befab.com
Dear Stacie - You have some great questions.
Trying to do everything
First and foremost when clients mention to me that they want more balance.
We must figure out where you are not achieving balance physically and emotionally.
If in your mind you have so many things you are trying to accomplish you will become very overwhelmed and achieve none of it. Physically if you are exhausted because you are doing so many things then getting rest will rejuvenate you.
Wether you need to rest for a weekend in your pj's do so. If you need to just start going to bed early then incorporate that into your daily activity.
You do not want to reach a place of burn out because you are trying to accomplish so many things. So if sleeping in over the weekend and laying around would do you some good. Do it. You will become much more rejuvenated and able to work on what you are trying to accomplish.
Number 2:
Anytime you are going through changing directions in your life/career it is so important to remain focused.
Here are 2 ways you can do that.
1) Choose what I call 3 Pillars of Priority
and write them down Example: yours may be broken down in these 3 areas below.
Pillar One
Fitness
Pillar two
My business
add email addresses
blog
Pillar 3
You
When you list out 3 priorities that are your pillars you are saying these are my areas of focus.
Now you can begin listing small tasks under each area.
In order to remain focused you want to take the area of your life that you are least satisfied with and start there. So if becoming balanced and rested is a priority then you know that is under Pillar 3 (you as the priority) and you know when you feel out of balances that is Non Negotiable time and it is the most important pillar for you. Everything else can wait.
2) Slow is the new fast
Slow and steady creates long term results.
So although you want to make changes to your current business by adding for example email addressees. Take it in strides -add people slowly, no need to feel like all that has to be done now and all at once. Super stressful - so when you find yourself in that spot -take small steps to action. Small steps are defined as small action steps that feel achievable and not exhausting.
Blog if you want to, blog if you feel like it, blog when you really have something to share NOT because you really feel you have to. That gives off such frustrating energy and feels forced -you want to do this when you are in a place of feeling good. Don't worry about forcing yourself to blog so many times a month that you get burnt out. You want a quality blog.
An example of a small step would be to create a list of things you enjoy talking about and write when you feel inspired. You will be coming from a totally different space and energy. Your clients and prospects that read your blog will feel the difference.
Client's Response:
Dear Ned:
I like the “slow is the new fast”. It reminds me that in a “right now” society that I don’t have to conform all the time. Also, that if I am going to be beneficial to myself or others that it is a MUST sometimes because our bodies and brains are like machines and they aren’t always in overdrive so we shouldn’t either; we need to re-fuel, let the mechanisms rest and cool down, give attention to maintenance or we risk a blow-out, breakdown. If I breakdown then I’m no good to anybody or to my aim/purpose.