I attended an Entrepreneur Camp 2010 at the University of Houston 2 weeks ago. It is a gathering of entrepreneurs alike in Houston held for all to gather and share. It was a great place to network, listen to successful local entrepreneurs, speakers and panels. The informal gathering allows any entrepreneur to speak if you have something to share. So I signed up for a time slot and decided to give it a shot. Not because I wanted to speak in front of people but because I wanted to share what I had already been through building a coaching practice. I only had 25 minutes to talk briefly on my slides, engage one another and have time for questions.

As I began talking I realized how completely excited I was to speak to this group of people. I have been grateful to speak in front of groups before but realized that this felt so different. I wanted to jump up on the table in front of them and let them know how excited I was( sort of like Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah's yellow coach professing his love for Katie) to finally be speaking in front of people that made me feel so jazzed about what they were doing as local entrepreneurs. Pam and Michele always talk and teach about finding your people, tribe, target market etc – I found them. Huge thanks to you both.

I began the presentation and things went smoothly then a gentlemen asked the question when prompted by my “What type of lifestyle do you want" slide?. He proceeded to say that “I’ m happy having a start up business, it’s like having a baby you must nurture it and give it so much attention but my personal life is struggling.” There was the famous “ BUT.” Many times we believe that working so many hours will bring us more customers, better business plans and better strategies. It is true in the beginning you need to plant seeds for your business with water and love but not under so much stress. How can anything grow under those conditions? The gentlemen cares a lot about his business and his family but could not balance it all. I let him know through my own experience and much wisdom from many teachers – that we must increase joy and fun even in the most least opportune times.

Have you ever realized how great ideas come from moments of not trying so hard?

My tip to him was to increase activities that are meaningful and creative – all right brain activity. Even when you are trying to grow a business we must still do things that make us happy and not feel like we must be working around the clock. Building a business takes patience and requires different building blocks at different stages of the game. Why jeopardize a relationship, marriage or your valuable time when you know your quality of life is suffering. The journey of building a business can be trying but working around the clock and not spending time doing the things you love will only leave your tank running on empty.

Besides by the time you get your business where you want it –it is time to change and evolve to the next level. Might as well take care of yourself along the journey! Here is my compelling advice to share: If you find your tank running on empty find simple fun ways that increase joy and decrease stress to refuel.

By fueling your tank with smiling, golf, painting with your child, park with kids, flying a kite, reading a chapter from your favorite book you will immediately connect with a less stressful side of you and realize that you will naturally begin to feel happier.

As we all know - running on empty only leaves us left stranded, exhausted and drained. Fuel your life with just a few things that make you happy even when you are under the most intense circumstances.

Is there any other way to get back on the road?


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Does self destruction lead to greatness?

"At the edge of self destruction comes greatness"

I heard this quote from Will Smith on Oprah sometime this spring. When I did I was startled.

Did I really believe that people self destruct before great things happen?

Well it got me thinking and I started to wonder how this may apply to my life: hated my job in software – left to pursue my own business. Did I self destruct? Maybe. Well I did prolong the leap of faith with self doubt accompanied by many sleepless nights. I was coaching a client the other day striving to maintain multiple businesses. He was doing all he could to be hard on himself, losing sleep and unhappy, thinking that would bring him the results he wants. Self destructive maybe? Another client who has some time off during the summer is contemplating how to spend the time by feeling guilty about what she chooses. Self destruct yes? Another client was convincing herself through resistance to change that she loved her job, only to realize after a nice vacation she needed to mentally de-clutter on how to begin steps to a more fulfilling job. All of these are examples of how we could self destruct mentally before greatness appears.

Does self destruct lead to greatness? Do we change our lives when we feel bad enough to want better or follow a nagging desire? My theory is this: You do have to be in a place of craving more, not just wanting, exhausted of the mundane days, not just uncomfortable. Because feeling bad enough, accompanied by mental self destruct can lead to greatness. You have the feeling for a reason. It pushes us to the next level of our transformation –like going from a villain to superman or women; relieving us of our own mental prison.

If you find yourself self destructing in a way that feels bad, know it could be a sign of a great change right around the corner. You may not be familiar with the feeling but look for the greatness that will come with it. We are all deserving of whatever change is in front of us: recognize the self destruct and bring on the greatness. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how much knowledge you gain about a topic you may be struggling with. What matters is that you become aware of the self destruct, think about allowing the greatness and begin the plan of action to create the change and happiness you want.

Comment here: I would be interested in seeing what comments or real life stories that you think apply to this quote or blog.


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Fail Intentionally, I Dare You.

Why is it so hard to convince ourselves that failure is a good thing and that we need it in order to grow?

In the latest O magazine issue, Elizabeth Gilbert mentions in her article that we try so hard to be so perfect – the perfect mom, perfect dad, perfect worker, perfect entrepreneur, etc…

“The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.” -Sven Goran

We must stop and take a few minutes to understand how we can create the life we want by first trying… and then trying again.

Trying again. Like famous judge from American Idol Simon Cowell, when he failed his businesses at 30 years old, lost everything and had to move in with his parents. Now he is a successful business man and a multi-millionaire.

Trying again. Like Steve Jobs, who never finished college, got fired from his own company but still followed his intuition and ended up succeeding on his own terms.

Refusing to fail. Like closing a business down that you are no longer passionate about but because you refuse to fail, you continue to struggle.

Refusing to fail. Like letting go of some outside commitments that you no longer desire but have a strong belief you will fail others if you quit.

Seth Godin says in his latest blog –“16 questions for free agents” Is perfect important? (Do you feel the need to fail privately, not in public?)

Failing and doing things wrong is part of how we learn. How else would we contrast differences and lead lives that matter. If we continuously strive for perfection then we will never try anything new like learning a new language, starting a business, creating a new program offering or showing up at a networking event not knowing what you will say. I say fail intentionally because it takes the pressure off. It allows you to be really bad at something. It allows the mind to say “Well, I don’t care. I am going to do it anyway”. Even if the thing you write, draw, create or present isn’t perfect, at least you started it. You began the first step because you allowed yourself to fail.

So go ahead and try it. Fail intentionally, fail on purpose. I dare you.


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Are you Squeezing or Surrendering? Are you tightly holding a vision of the outcome of an important goal in your life or career? And by tightly, I mean squeezing so hard there’s no room for deviation or for bigger and better opportunity? In her book Return to Love, Marianne Williamson said, “In order for us to achieve anything in our life, we must learn to surrender the attachment of the results. “ I couldn’t get this out of my mind because I believe most of what we do in our careers and businesses greatly relate to the end-results we are trying to achieve.

What else is there right?

I am referring to identifying what it is you want and surrendering by relaxing into the results. Surrendering in this sense does not mean giving up; it means letting go. Letting go after stating your intention. Letting go after identifying your target client. Letting go after determining what marketing strategy would best fit your business. Instead of the surrender Williamson speaks of, we squeeze. And when we squeeze our intentions into specific result parameters, we leave no room for other opportunities to come our way that could be bigger and better.

What would happen if we let go of our attachment to the outcome?

There is a concept called “ zen mind, “ or “beginners mind.” Surrender is a process of emptying your mind.-“ Empty your mind for you cannot allow anything else in if you do not.” We are not teachable when are minds are too full. There are many ways we can go about doing this including doing The Work of Byron Katie, using Brooke Castillo’s method of Self Coaching 101, journaling thoughts to detoxify and clean your mind, or by hiring a coach or mentor. We must keep our eyes wide open, our hearts full of love and our minds cleansed. Martha Beck reminds us that the cleaner your mind, the cleaner your energy, Surrendering can be freeing. Once you state your intention, you can relax your mind from trying to control the outcome; as if you wrote your business intentions on a balloon and then let it go in the air.

In surrendering, you are doing many things:

• Stating your desires to the Universe
• Clearing your controlling worries so you can stay in an open focus frame of mind
• Practicing faith that whatever your results are, they will be achieved with your highest good in mind.

So many times we are trying to control the outcome and we exhaust our selves. I found myself doing this in my own coaching practice. I needed more clients. I needed to work harder. I realized it was becoming exhausting. When I gave up and just surrendered, I allowed the Universe to bring people to me that wanted to be coached. I can’t control who needs me! I had to allow it to happen. Now when my old thoughts start creeping in, I empty my mind and surrender to the possibilities. I invite you to take one thing in your life you know you are attached to and surrender the results. Surrender to the possibilities instead of trying to create what you believe is supposed to happen. The Universe, God, bigger powers have others things in mind for you that could be much grander. If you have thoughts like: “If I don’t have clients I can’t pay my bills.” “I’m only as good as the last sales transaction.” “I need my revenue stream to increase.” Then let your surrendering mentality bring you all the opportunities, not just the one you were squeezing. It’s interesting how old thoughts will return and try to control you. But remember, we are not our thoughts. Identify what you want, surrender, cleanse your mind and be in the energy of allowing all possibilities into your life. What goal are you so attached to that you know you are squeezing the end results to death? I challenge you to surrender.


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Have you ever realized that when you are trying to win or achieve something, we as human beings get so competitive. Sometimes we are competing with others but what really happens is we begin to compete with ourselves. We push ourselves hard, work long hours, and strive to be the best even when it feels bad for us. Our bodies begin to feel exhausted and tired even when we reach for the last cup of coffee for a caffeine jolt. In Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth he discusses a story about a guy who is trying to win a competition in archery. The guy is skilled and has trained a long time to prepare for this match. However, once he begins the match Eckhart quotes “His need to win is draining him of his own power. “

What does this mean?

That when all you think about is winning and you become stressed about losing – it robs you of showing up as your smart, skilled talented self. When we want something bad enough we are always willing to push ourselves and work hard. But when the time comes to present a presentation or lead a team on a project, we forget to be confident in the work we have done to prepare. We can be passionate about the things we want but passion can turn into stress- the more we want it the more it can become stressful because we are so attached to the outcome. If you truly want to be in your personal power -find energy in your focus. Instead of worrying about the project and exhausting yourself –set time aside to plan instead of dragging the worry around with you till the deadline. When you set time aside to focus on the specific task at hand –you allow all of your focus and energy to just be on this assignment or game. You naturally find energy in focus without the stress. So the next time you feel exhausted and powerless –ask yourself these 2 questions.

1) Is my need to win draining me from my best self?
2) Am I confident that I have planned and prepared the best I can?

Personal power is your ability to know you have the confidence and resources to overcome a challenge without being stressed. The opposite is helplessness. So the next time you set out for a tennis match, speaking engagement , important sales call or assignment, be sure that your need to win doesn’t drain you of your own personal power. Trust yourself and let confidence and personal power lead the way.

Quote to share: "Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose." ~ Bill Gates


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I was at the gym today and realized that some people may be working out for the first time in a while. Including myself. I took a 2 week break for the holidays thinking it would be nice but it only left me restless, unenergized and sluggish. I left thinking that maybe, just maybe I got a lot of calcium because of all the cheese I ate during the holidays. Yikes. We all have good intentions this year, especially these upcoming days and weeks in January, but remember a great intention must not be hanging from a conflicting belief. For example, if we have a great intention of losing weight we may a) sign up for the gym, maybe hire a trainer b) buy new gym clothes for motivation c ) set days of the week in our outlook calendar to ensure attendance. These are 3 different action items that should lead to weight loss, a better body, energy and plain out feeling good. But what really happens to us when we don’t follow through. When 3 weeks in January go by and we gradually make up reasons not to workout. Could it be that our intentions are not aligned with our beliefs?

Intention vs Conflicting Limiting Beliefs

Intention - I want a wildly successful business
Limiting belief - I am worthless without clients

Intention I want to be healthy
Limiting Belief –I am not deserving of being thin

Intention - I want a loving relationship
Limiting Belief - I don't believe I am capable of loving

As you can see all of these beliefs block us mentally with our true intentions. Our mind begins to slowly present obstacles that limit us in our own thinking. This leaves us feeling stuck and then possibly tossing out our true intentions which is what we really desire. If you find yourself in this situation. Here are a few good tips to help you move forward with intention that aligns with your desire:

1) Write down all of the emotions and thoughts that come up when your internal voice starts talking trash or when you begin to feel resistance to your intentions.This will help you identify the thought or conflicting belief and allow the mind to see things objectively on paper. Try not to judge what you are writing. If you can see your emotions objectively on paper then it sometimes allows you to separate yourself from the situation.

2) Try to align your thoughts with the action you want that supports your intention.

3) Gently forgive yourself -if you ate bad, did not have a productive day or didn’t go to the gym, gently forgive yourself and move on.

4) Know the “Why?“ of your intention so when you feel like backing out you know why you wanted it in the first place

5) Prioritize your intentions to your top 3’s so that you set yourself up with accomplishment I am passionate about well being and aligning intentions with beliefs that serve you, rather than conflict. Emotional wellness is the most important thing you can give yourself this year. Nurturing your core –your physical body, your mind and your soul is the best medicine. What you feel inside is reflective on the outside. So take the time to match up your intentions with your true desire to be sure that you don’t have a limiting belief that is leaving you feeling stuck. Take a different approach to your intentions this year and drop the conflicting limiting beliefs once and for all.


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