Ned Rios - Smart & Savvy Professionals Blog

10 ways to shift your Mindset in a New Job Market

2012-01-04T12:32:00.000-08:00

10 ways to shift your mindset in a new job market
1. Mindful thinking means more than just reading about it –connecting your heart and mind isn’t Pollyanna stuff –it's powerful and necessary.
2. Slow is the new fast -use turtle steps not baby steps. In a fast and furious world learning new skill sets, starting projects and building lasting results will matter with slow accurate steps. Try not to judge your pace.
3. It’s ok to wing it-not everything has to be a “how to” or “preplanned” to be successful -lean on your intuition for guidance.
4. Changing your mind in goal planning is considered an advantage to knowing yourself and being clear of what you want.
5. Pushing emotions away only means that they will show up in an important meeting, you may lash out to the people you love, or pushing them down to deal with later – kind of like a beach ball that won't stay down –learn to release emotions instead of suppress them.
6. As big as social media will be-social skills will be scarce-continue to build your interpersonal skills and relationship building skills.
7. Focus on your successes not failures for motivation.
8. Tunnel vision is not a best practice –learn the practice of stepping out of the box to visualize a solution and stay open minded.
9. Getting help doesn’t mean you are weak –it is valuable for your truth and can lead to a better vision or perspective.
10. Fulfillment is the key to happiness. Choose wisely, if you are wrong just choose again.

Lean into life purpose rather than feeling lost

2011-11-28T12:04:00.000-08:00

Jane wakes up out of bed, hits snooze too many times, goes through the motions of getting ready for work, feels herself dragging as usual and says to herself-“Is this all there is in life?” She never intended to feel so unmotivated but has somehow found herself wanting something different, more meaningful.

If you have asked yourself this question and feel the way Jane does every day, you may need to consider a change. While change can be scary for many people, changing the way we do things each day is the only way to begin leading a purposeful life.

Many people believe that life purpose is a project. That it is a hard thing to find in the noise of the world. In a way it is. The distraction of technology is endless, and not living the rat race can leave you feeling abnormal or unaccomplished.

If you wake up everyday and realize you have a hollow feeling inside that is not getting fulfilled from a relationship, job, your health or business, you may feel lost. Let’s face it there is no big sign on the road that says “ Find your life purpose here,” otherwise I think there could be a longer line there than at Starbucks

There is nothing more telling than that hollow or lost feeling inside, so welcome it in and allow it a voice. It is there to tell you to listen to who you really are and what you want. It is there to tell you to make that deeper connection and reach inside to that quiet place. That’s the place that you haven’t connected with in years, maybe decades. The good news is you are born with a purpose or a calling. No one can take it away from you and we all have the ability to connect with it. Consider it misplaced, not lost.

Many people use the word “lost” because there is no direction; you walk into uncertainty and it feels like everything you define yourself by doesn’t make you happy anymore, or no longer feels meaningful.

There are many positive ways to look at feeling disconnected from your life. It allows you to go on an adventure, relearn what you really like.

When you begin to look for your life purpose, lean into it rather than force yourself, because that will only lead you back into a hollow life.

What do I mean by lean?

Like my friend and mentor Martha Beck taught me, just start by noticing what makes you feel good; those heartfelt moments, what attracts you and where that comes from in that moment.

Sometimes we would like this process to move quickly because we don’t like the way we feel when we go through such shaky grounds. Look at it as recreating a new foundation for yourself; like a blank canvas that needs new paint. Be kind to yourself and give yourself gentle nudges, rather than paying attention to the sergeant like voice in your head that says you are moving too slow. You will eventually build momentum to map out some directions for yourself, but first you have to start.

Here are three steps to help you lean into life’s purpose.

1-Connect with simple joys

There is no cookie cutter recipe to help you describe what a simple joy is for you. You want to connect with what you consider pleasurable because it brings a sense of connection to your true self.

When searching for purpose, we don’t realize a lot of that has to do with remembering what brings you happiness. For me, it’s a great cup of coffee. For others it could be running. For some it’s a sunset or the beach, perhaps it’s free time for others, reading a book or never paying attention to the time. You get my drift.

This is part of leaning into your true likes and pleasures and cutting out things or activities that inundate your daily life and have no meaning. So the key is to find activities, moments, and strategies that bring you some real joy.

So how do you know if it is real joy? You will know it because you will feel it; that physical and emotional peace. This is a key exercise to consider because it is important to build a foundation of truth from your basic pleasures of life.

This is a way to lean into life purpose. You are opening space to bring in the newness.

2 - Use guided imagery to articulate your true purpose.

We all get hijacked by our left brain because that is the verbal section of our minds that wants to quickly label our next venture. So when we get out to discover a purposeful life, our left brain loves to jump in and begin labeling who we are and what’s next.

To prevent this from happening use guided imagery because it is a creative process that triggers right brain activity. When you can’t articulate what you want your soul speaks through images. When we search for purpose we want to connect with our core self and allow our soul to guide us to a more purposeful life. Begin collecting images or words that you realize you are attracted to. You can use magazines, newspapers, and articles, whatever you feel attracted to cut out or stick on a board. Here is the key - no judging, censoring or editing yourself. This is a creative exercise, so allow yourself to free flow and have fun with it. The results will give you some guidance when you can’t articulate what you want.

And take my advice - don’t get stuck on where each image should be pasted like I did. There are no rules. Just cut and glue. My recommendation is to collect images or words for 30 days and place them in a box, and then glue them on at one time. Once the images and words are glued onto the board, allow yourself an open mind to see the clues into what a purposeful life may look like for you.

3 - Don’t chase it. It’s about meaning.

Like the coyote and the roadrunner - don’t waste your energy chasing it. Know what has meaning for you and only you. Don’t chase a meaningless life because that is what everyone else wants or because that is what you think you should want. Meaning is the substance to a purposeful life. It’s about what you think meaning is and learning how to identify what that is for you and how to determine the difference.

Lost? Try this. Set aside a shelf, table or other space that can be just for you. Now start collecting photos or objects from your life that have had meaning to you in the past. Perhaps that includes your college diploma, your grandmothers jade ring that has been around for generations, or even an award or trophy from a childhood moment.

While we can look for meaning outside ourselves, it can only be defined through your own definition or an experience. Knowing what has meaning for you is a great place to start. This gives you clarity into surrounding yourself with heartfelt things that are significant to you.

Hopefully Jane will follow your lead and walk through the above steps so that she can realize what gives her a peaceful connection, as well as identify clues from her vision board on what purpose and meaning is for her. Leaning into a purposeful life is less stressful, and these small steps matter because you are consciously present through the process. When you gain clarity on meaning, purpose and what you really want, the mapping out of it becomes a lot easier. Pay attention in the beginning, be present, welcome the feeling of not knowing everything. Once you know, it is easy to align your purpose with people, activities, jobs, and things that matter to you.

You will have paint on your canvas before you know it and it will be meaningful because you decided that for yourself when you were lost.

Ned Rios is a certified life coach that empowers professionals to connect with their strengths and passions in order to maximize their true individual performance.

Whether you are a career professional, transitioning to your own business or already an entrepreneur, Ned’s intuitive approach and strategies can guide you to increase your work passion, get inspired and grow your business while maintaining a lifestyle that fits your value system.

Ned is a certified life coach, writer, speaker and workshop leader. She co-authored a book released in October 2009 called Changes of the Heart –Align your personal strengths to find your purpose.

Download her audio “8 ways to revive your career or business” for free at HYPERLINK "http://www.nedrios.com" www.nedrios.com

Do our life circumstances have power over our happiness?

2011-10-20T15:32:00.000-07:00

A client and I were in a conversation a few weeks ago. Through our discussion she mentioned the stressful workplace situation and how that sometimes
robs her from happiness and achievement. I explained to her that we have more control over things than we think.
I mentioned the book I was reading called, Thrive by Dan Buettner

In the book he mentions these stats on how we can control our happiness by professor of psychologist PH.D.,Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want.

50% of individual difference is influenced by our genetic makeup (don't worry this can be changed)
40% is influenced by how we think and act everyday
10 % life circumstances

It was shocking to my client(s) that such a small % had to do with circumstance as it was for me when I read it.
Let's face it - we all like to turn and blame our life circumstance, for our misery or negativity.

Examples: Not enough business, money, time, jobs, stressful workplace, poor management, bad economy etc

If our life circumstance has only 10% to do with happiness then we have a lot more control of our happiness than we think

What would we do differently each day? Would that change the way we think and act each morning?

So the question remains how can we remind ourselves during stressful situations that we have more control over our happiness than we realize and to notice our negative thinking as it occurs regardless of our circumstances.

Here are 2 solutions:

Hit your RESET button
1) Kind of like how we reboot our computers or reset our printers and start over - only we do this in a way that allows us to think and feel differently about our stressful situation.
We all know it takes one situation that we consider bad to change the way we think and feel that can lead to a spiral motion of more negativity
Reset how you feel about the situation and move on.

Solution 2 Change Mindset Another way to look at it is to consider a circumstance to be neither good nor bad

·      Think of something that truly would makes you laugh out loud or smile about a past memory that brings you peace
·      Create awareness when you know it is happening (stops disruption of thought patterns)
·      Think of a transition statement that would get you out of the negative mindset and into a different emotion that will change your mood, the energy or the situation for the better ie: this too shall pass, this is temporary, I have a plan to change things
·      A thought that makes you feel better and allows you to make a small shift changes your energy and mood

These are small ways to manage and control your feelings -if it still doesn’t work for you begin learning the habits of a person that you consider happy -that may guarantee you the principles so you can replicate. Another alternative is to turn to Brooke Castillo’s Self Coaching 101 where you can learn a thinking model that would guarantee you a better feeling state.

Bottom line: Hit the reset button, state the truth of the situation and decide how to move onward for your sake and your happiness

And for the rest of us with the 50% genetic makeup -this doesn't mean your happiness levels cannot be changed. You too can reset the "set points" to learn the habits of happy people. I believe happy people know hot to hit their reset button successfully.

Remember everyone has a different definition of happiness –know yours for a successful turnout.

Do life circumstance have control of our happiness?

2011-10-20T15:29:00.000-07:00

Do our life circumstances have power over our happiness?

A client and I were in a conversation a few weeks ago. Through our discussion she mentioned the stressful workplace situation and how that sometimes

robs her from happiness and achievement. I explained to her that we have more control over things than we think.

I mentioned the book I was reading called, Thrive by Dan Buettner

In the book he mentions these stats on how we can control our happiness by professor of psychologist PH.D.,Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want.

50% of individual difference is influenced by our genetic makeup (don't worry this can be changed)

40% is influenced by how we think and act everyday

10 % life circumstances

It was shocking to my client(s) that such a small % had to do with circumstance as it was for me when I read it.

Let's face it - we all like to turn and blame our life circumstance, for our misery or negativity.

Examples: Not enough business, money, time, jobs, stressful workplace, poor management, bad economy etc

If our life circumstance has only 10% to do with happiness then we have a lot more control of our happiness than we think

What would we do differently each day? Would that change the way we think and act each morning?

So the question remains how can we remind ourselves during stressful situations that we have more control over our happiness than we realize and to notice our negative thinking as it occurs regardless of our circumstances.

Here are 2 solutions:

Hit your RESET button

1) Kind of like how we reboot our computers or reset our printers and start over - only we do this in a way that allows us to think and feel differently about our stressful situation.

We all know it takes one situation that we consider bad to change the way we think and feel that can lead to a spiral motion of more negativity

Reset how you feel about the situation and move on.

Solution 2 Change Mindset Another way to look at it is to consider a circumstance to be neither good nor bad

· Think of something that truly would makes you laugh out loud or smile about a past memory that brings you peace

· Create awareness when you know it is happening (stops disruption of thought patterns)

· Think of a transition statement that would get you out of the negative mindset and into a different emotion that will change your mood, the energy or the situation for the better ie: this too shall pass, this is temporary, I have a plan to change things

· A thought that makes you feel better and allows you to make a small shift changes your energy and mood

These are small ways to manage and control your feelings -if it still doesn’t work for you begin learning the habits of a person that you consider happy -that may guarantee you the principles so you can replicate. Another alternative is to turn to Brooke Castillo’s Self Coaching 101 where you can learn a thinking model that would guarantee you a better feeling state.

Bottom line: Hit the reset button, state the truth of the situation and decide how to move onward for your sake and your happiness

And for the rest of us with the 50% genetic makeup -this doesn't mean your happiness levels cannot be changed. You too can reset the "set points" to learn the habits of happy people. I believe happy people know hot to hit their reset button successfully.

Remember everyone has a different definition of happiness –know yours for a successful turnout.

Can Foolishness Lead to better Marketing?

2011-09-06T13:46:00.000-07:00

I recently saw an interview with Richard Branson. (link)

In the interview he was asked, “How do you become a great marketer?”
He said, “The way to do it is be willing to make a fool of yourself”

Ouch!
Are most people willing to do that? To stand tall and proud of what they want to share but make a fool out of themselves?

Looking back I remember my first presentation, first client I coached, first newsletter, new website etc. It was all in favor of sharing what I had to offer and growing my business. Now looking back I was out letting people know I existed. I guess you could say I was marketing through foolishness. I felt foolish at times. Not because I was hanging out of a plane with a banner of my services. But it felt foolish because I was presenting something new, programs I had created, a philosophy that I wanted to share with people that I believed in. It felt vulnerable.

Sometimes it may take foolishness to get out there and make something happen. Most of the time you are basically presenting yourself to others for the purpose of sharing your products or services to meet your customers needs.

Companies and people that do this well: Mattress Mack www.galleryfurntiure.com (for Houston peeps)
Southwest airlines www.southwestairlines.com

What do I think this can be translated into?

What do we need to do in order to get ourselves past the foolishness?
Here are some steps that I think will help you.

Step 1 Make a decision to be imperfect
We all know that practice makes perfect: sometimes it’s got to be done imperfect
before it can unfold to greatness: takes 10,000 hours to be a master at something

Step 2 Sometimes “Good is good enough”
Especially in the beginning or when it is something new –it’s human nature to want things to be great right out of the gate. But whether you are just starting off in your business or career it is important to focus on getting yourself into action by sharing what you have to offer. It doesn’t have to be in a big way but just be able to expose yourself, communicate your offerings and share what you got.

Step 3 Market through Authenticity and education
Be yourself. People know when you are not being authentic about what you are talking about. You will be surprised how this can effect your likeability factor: whether they buy from you or not–you still want to connect through authenticity and begin relationships. By doing this you get past foolishness and increase your ability to connect with people whether you market face-to-face or social media

Step 4 Just do it
The more we think about marketing we can become paralyzed.
We call it analysis paralysis. So think about something you do really well in your life. Take that same approach when it comes to marketing. It may feel uncomfortable or indifferent at first but I promise with perseverance you get past it and forget its marketing.

So if foolishness is part of the marketing process well these are ways to get past it.
You got this –I promise. Once you get past it –you will be glad you did it.

What can you do to market differently now? I invite you to share.

Weekly Question and Answer - Want vs. Need

2011-08-08T11:39:00.000-07:00

Client's Question:

Hi Ned,

Right now I’m concerned that I’m trying to do much. There are some things that I WANT(i.e. prepare for a fitness competition, rest) to do for myself and there are things I feel I NEED to do for my business(enter email addresses, blog). I feel like I’m having a hard time balancing. Do you have any suggestions for how to cope with wanting to do EVERYTHING or taking time to focus?

Thanks,

Stacie
Healthy Diva
http://www.fit2befab.com

Dear Stacie - You have some great questions.

Trying to do everything
First and foremost when clients mention to me that they want more balance.
We must figure out where you are not achieving balance physically and emotionally.
If in your mind you have so many things you are trying to accomplish you will become very overwhelmed and achieve none of it. Physically if you are exhausted because you are doing so many things then getting rest will rejuvenate you.

Wether you need to rest for a weekend in your pj's do so. If you need to just start going to bed early then incorporate that into your daily activity.
You do not want to reach a place of burn out because you are trying to accomplish so many things. So if sleeping in over the weekend and laying around would do you some good. Do it. You will become much more rejuvenated and able to work on what you are trying to accomplish.

Number 2:
Anytime you are going through changing directions in your life/career it is so important to remain focused.

Here are 2 ways you can do that.

1) Choose what I call 3 Pillars of Priority
and write them down Example: yours may be broken down in these 3 areas below.

Pillar One
Fitness

Pillar two
My business
add email addresses
blog

Pillar 3
You

When you list out 3 priorities that are your pillars you are saying these are my areas of focus.
Now you can begin listing small tasks under each area.

In order to remain focused you want to take the area of your life that you are least satisfied with and start there. So if becoming balanced and rested is a priority then you know that is under Pillar 3 (you as the priority) and you know when you feel out of balances that is Non Negotiable time and it is the most important pillar for you. Everything else can wait.

2) Slow is the new fast
Slow and steady creates long term results.
So although you want to make changes to your current business by adding for example email addressees. Take it in strides -add people slowly, no need to feel like all that has to be done now and all at once. Super stressful - so when you find yourself in that spot -take small steps to action. Small steps are defined as small action steps that feel achievable and not exhausting.

Blog if you want to, blog if you feel like it, blog when you really have something to share NOT because you really feel you have to. That gives off such frustrating energy and feels forced -you want to do this when you are in a place of feeling good. Don't worry about forcing yourself to blog so many times a month that you get burnt out. You want a quality blog.
An example of a small step would be to create a list of things you enjoy talking about and write when you feel inspired. You will be coming from a totally different space and energy. Your clients and prospects that read your blog will feel the difference.

Client's Response:

Dear Ned:
I like the “slow is the new fast”. It reminds me that in a “right now” society that I don’t have to conform all the time. Also, that if I am going to be beneficial to myself or others that it is a MUST sometimes because our bodies and brains are like machines and they aren’t always in overdrive so we shouldn’t either; we need to re-fuel, let the mechanisms rest and cool down, give attention to maintenance or we risk a blow-out, breakdown. If I breakdown then I’m no good to anybody or to my aim/purpose.

Are you trying to be positive?

2011-07-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

Are you "Trying" to be Positive?

I was watching a show last month and saw a guy mention that he was " trying to be positive " in a difficult situation. It got me thinking.

Are we always trying to be positive when we really don't feel like we can?

I just want to say - Please allow yourself to be in the emotion of what you may be going through. The key is to allow yourself not to stay there. If you are angry you can be. If you are thrilled about an opportunity that is great too. If you are insecure then be truthful about that as well. We as human beings get stuck when we don't allow our self to feel the emotions that we have and pretend like we are being positive. Positivity can always be invited in. But when you try too hard to be positive you almost push it away and place a thumb on what you are really feeling.

What to do if you find yourself "Trying to be Positive "

1) Allow yourself to feel emotions good or bad
2) If you catch yourself -" trying to be positive" Ask yourself what is it that you are afraid will happen -be honest with yourself.
3) Once you know the feeling you are avoiding, it is much easier to feel it then release it rather than avoid it
4) We get stuck when we stay in the negative emotion and then it spirals into more of what we don't want -so set a time frame of how long you will allow yourself to be in that place then commit to letting it go

Find ways to limit your complaining on something, limit the amount of time you will be sad or just naturally use practical principles like appreciation and gratitude to ease out of it. I really don't think there is such a thing as " Trying to be positive." When you struggle for positivity there is something inside you that isn't being true to what is happening.

So I have to ask - Are you Trying to be Positive?

Passion can be a few steps away

2011-05-20T14:43:00.000-07:00

I have often wondered why people keep passion on the side line: arms distance away. Sometimes people know what makes them tick, really jolts their system into a natural excitement. But sometimes they prefer to keep it to the wayside.

Why I wonder?

Sometimes people think finding their passion is so difficult so they don’t even bother.
Sometimes people think they are not worthy of their passionate lives And sometimes they are moving towards it and then create a self sabotaging situation that stops them.

First let’s define passion I think everyone has a different definition My definition of passion is a connection to one self a feeling that gives you peace and love and comes from the heart; Websters: intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction.

Other definitions: Passion is love that drives you Passion is believing in something so much Passion is self expression in your life or career Passion is love for others Passion is purpose Passion a feeling state of love A feeling state of aliveness Passion is inspiration I am reading a book called “What’s personality got to do with it, “and Dr. Carol Ritberger says, "Passion is the element of our humanity that isn’t governed by the mind or reasoning but it is driven by the needs of the heart and body."

I love this because it explains how our brilliant minds could hold us hostage from attaining the needs of the heart. But as I wrote in my ebook and how Dr Carol states above: Passion lies in the heart. And so many times we place a thumb on what we really want or we just don’t know what it is that makes us feel alive. Like Martha Beck would say – Dream with your heart and use your mind as a tool to get it: Not the other way around.

You don’t have to be drastic about following your passion but you must be willing to make small attempts that matter if you really want it. So you can begin creating strategies that you think would bring you closer to a passionate life.

3 Clear ways to get started Start with these questions What would make you feel more passionate? What would give you the feeling of being connected to who you really are? What activities, people or things are you attracted to that you think could give you the feeling?

Brainstorm: Draw a picture of a funnel toss everything you think gives you that "hell yeah, oh yeah" feeling that makes you tick or feel connected to yourself. This is a non censoring non judging exercise. If you have a mental block begin this part when you are sitting in a board meeting bored and wondering what you are doing there – I find these are the best times to brainstorm.

Find strategies: Take one idea and create a strategy ( action oriented activity) that you feel is concrete enough to try: Through this process remember little things matter and small attempts count You are in the process of searching and discovering. Allow yourself permission to do that. For the overachieving people out there set a timeline for how long you will allow yourself to do this. This summer or commit to a future date – allows for a relaxed state of mind.

If you feel you are living a passionate life and have a passionate career great…. Do you have to have passion to be happy? My philosophy: You must always try to be connected to who you are otherwise you are not leading your life with authenticity; real life and real moments come from things , people, activities that give you meaning and fulfillment. Your source of happiness must come from things that you are passionate about in your heart.

What if you don’t know?

Allow yourself to travel the experience rather than figure it out before you start. Take the steps even if you don’t know why you are doing it. Follow your instinct - it is there for a reason. If you have gotten so far away from who you are and can’t find your inner guidance practice getting into a relaxed state of mind. Begin by gravitating towards things that make you feel good, that you are attracted to: keep it simple. A cup of coffee, a orange colored blouse, a trip to the book store to see what you are attracted to or a nice vacation. For more good starts download my ebook that really and truly will support your journey and give you clarity. I am not here to convince you to live a passionate life but I am here to give you the perspective of knowing – it’s never too late to feel good. Purpose follows passion: and living a purposeful life attracts a healthy long life.

Are you ready for the thrill ride? The ebook I wrote will help you get started or join my monthly free call this summer to get closer to your "hell yeah" feeling and aliveness. Or start with the 3 simple clear strategies above.

To peace, love and passion.

What I have learned from...

2011-04-17T20:17:00.000-07:00

What I have learned from ordinary human beings..... People are less likely to: Feel worthy enough to get help To focus on self fullfillment People are more likely to stick to the same job rather than face emotions of change People will wait till there 80 percent miserable before seeking help or change Most people will talk themselves out of a life full of purpose People think time is their obstacle and it's really their friend People hide from who they truly are cause its safer Being who you really are can take a while but its worth it Not everyone stops to smell roses People hide in the busyness of life The ego is a huge emotional driver in peoples lives not their heart Rarely do people make career decisions with their heart Reinventing yourself isn't so rare Coaching is magical when you allow it When we realize we are worthy of a fulfilling life something changes inside of you....

How to Master Entrepreneurship and Motherhood

2011-02-17T08:43:00.000-08:00

How do we become Masters and experts at something we want? Would you act or behave differently if you knew you had everything you needed to be successful but just needed practice?

So the story goes like this: I realize that through my experience being a new mom I have come to realize my confidence sways – sometimes I feel the motherly instinct and sometimes I am not sure what to do at all. So I dial my mother master to help with my challenge. Conversation goes like this: " Mom I can't get him to stop crying – well did you check his diaper? " Um no. I can’t get him to eat – Did you try to feed him in different places –bouncer, swing ? - um let me try and do that. " Ok basic stuff right. Then I get sick and she has to come and rescue me because I am not even sure I can care for myself much less my little baby. Well many of you may not know my mother but she is known to get things done. When it comes to babies she has this very matter of fact attitude, assertiveness and she oozes confidence.

What is it? I need what she has? Maybe it is hereditary but I’m not feeling it. I know this is me being impatient again. I want to be where she is now. Then I watch her : She feeds Alex - he eats all his food happily. He then sleeps without force. Then she makes me homemade chicken soup, after thoroughly cleaning my kitchen – all in less than 3 hours. This may have taken me all day.

As I observed her I can’t help but to think about energy and Law of Attraction LOA –she is confident, very matter of fact and naturally pleases Alex while nurturing him. I decide to start practicing this: First I dissolve my belief that I am not doing a good job then I will move onto:

1) Focus on my energy
2) Lean into my confidence without pressure
3) Allow myself to be imperfect and do a poor job

Why am I bringing this up? Are we taking this approach when it comes to building our businesses? Then I remember something Martha Beck wrote:

"Some psychologists believe that no one is born with any particular talent and that all skill is gained through practice. Studies have shown that masters are simply people who've practiced a skill intensely for 10,000 hours or more. That requires loving -- not liking, loving -- what you do. If you really want to excel, go where you're passionate enough to practice."

I admire my mother so much because she has practiced millions of hours being a mom for her three children and three grandchildren. More importantly she loves what she does because her passion lies in her family. Period. That is what makes her a master -loving what she does + 10,000 hours.

So as I continue to transition into being a mom I realize I have so many more hours to earn and to remember to do this with love. Not with comparison and not with force. Now I will also use this practice when it comes to growing my business as an entrepreneur. Being a master at creating a business is what I will practice and earn badges for – because I love it, it excites me, it challenges me. With all my heart - I will also enjoy mastering motherhood because of my love for Alex – one step at a time and not force myself into mastery without the practice.

And so now I must ask you. What are you forcing yourself to master without the practice?

Embracing 2011 with Inspiration and Truth

2011-01-17T11:38:00.000-08:00

This year I sit and wonder what will 2011 look like for me. A bit overwhelmed considering I went through a huge life change this past year having my first child. Alex Rey is a beautiful blessing and an incredible gift. Now I am wondering how to make it all happen and continue to fulfill myself as a human being, as a new mom, a wife and my coaching business.

I didn’t want to start off thinking about goals from a marketing plan, business strategy or even thinking about success. I wanted to start off with simplicity. What will make me happy? What I want everyone to think about is how we can be authentically true to ourselves as we look out at the upcoming year. What I mean is do things only that matter to you, spend time working on things that matter, use your valuable time as if we knew when the end would come.

This year take a different approach to the goals

Inspired actions: only participate in activates that matter, from networking, to communicating and connecting with people that inspire you or make a difference: the type of inspiration you feel in your soul when you hear your favorite song. If it doesn’t feel energizing when you think it through, don’t do it. Below are definitions of inspiration from a few spectacular people. Add action to your inspiration and you will feel physically lighter and emotionally energized about your goals

Sheila Whittington: feeling inspired is when you WANT to do something because it feels good in your heart, not because you HAVE to do it.
Susan Oglesbee Hyatt: flow that moves you
Valerie LaPenta Steiger: some thing or some one that vibrates an energy that awakens an equal or greater energy within you. What inspires us is usually a reflection of our greatest self -- our light.
Elena Cuello Collins: Inspiration: Joanna Lange on YouTube. She was a piano teacher all her life. She is in her 80's, suffered a major stroke in 1990 losing the use of her right side but still continues to practice piano everyday for at least an hour. Amazing.

Be the authentic leader: this year by being true to who you are. Speak up even if it’s not the popular thing to do but matches up with your purpose: be the authentic leader and take the lead on things that make a difference: sometimes be neither right nor wrong: be the authentic leader even if it means being vulnerable

Some of you might be thinking yes that sounds good but is it possible? And to you I say living through your own inspiration and doing activities and tasks from an inspired place will always take you to your true path……

I watched 5 people get honored at the Kennedy Center for their contribution to this world:

Oprah using her voice for good on TV
Merle Haggard using his voice to connect to working class people with his music
Paul McCartney using his historical remarkable music to create joy and history
Jerry Herman for his creative writing and music with famous Broadway plays
Bill T Jones for his ability to speak through his talents as a choreographer and dancer

All 5 of these people set out to pursue their career with their talent and I can’t help but think how inspiration must have played a huge part in it all.

Instead of just looking at next year with goals I invite you to think about this:

What would you want to be honored for? What is your gift to this world? Are you capitalizing on your strengths? Are you using your talents? Do you live with passion? Do you begin projects from an inspired place rather than a “should “place?

Sometimes being able to answer these questions will help you in aligning goals with what is most important to you in the end. Start at the end of knowing what you would want to be honored for. Why not? If it helps you see things clearer.

The last thing I will leave you with is to remember not all things will be planned out perfectly. Things will happen that you don’t expect in 2011 in your life/ career. Know it is there to teach you something so allow yourself to evolve. When confusion sets in know that answers will come not by demand but by sometimes going back to simplicity: lean on inspiration, be authentic and sometimes surrender.

I believe that your life unfolds magically when you start by listening to your heart, following inspiration, and by using your gift to contribute to this world.

I will use my time this year knowing it’s valuable by placing happiness first, which means all that I do will be aligned by connecting me with: my family, my health, and continuing to inspire people to follow careers and businesses that match up with who they truly are. That is my contribution that I know will be a start to my year.

I ask that you begin allowing your inspiration in to embrace the year.

So I ask: What would you want to be honored for? Mine is to be dedicated to human beings that want to follow their purpose and to use my voice for good through inspiration by writing, speaking and coaching.

I invite you to share your comments here.

Stay Sane and Still Grow Your Start Up

2010-09-01T09:41:00.000-07:00

I attended an Entrepreneur Camp 2010 at the University of Houston 2 weeks ago. It is a gathering of entrepreneurs alike in Houston held for all to gather and share. It was a great place to network, listen to successful local entrepreneurs, speakers and panels. The informal gathering allows any entrepreneur to speak if you have something to share. So I signed up for a time slot and decided to give it a shot. Not because I wanted to speak in front of people but because I wanted to share what I had already been through building a coaching practice. I only had 25 minutes to talk briefly on my slides, engage one another and have time for questions.

As I began talking I realized how completely excited I was to speak to this group of people. I have been grateful to speak in front of groups before but realized that this felt so different. I wanted to jump up on the table in front of them and let them know how excited I was( sort of like Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah's yellow coach professing his love for Katie) to finally be speaking in front of people that made me feel so jazzed about what they were doing as local entrepreneurs. Pam and Michele always talk and teach about finding your people, tribe, target market etc – I found them. Huge thanks to you both.

I began the presentation and things went smoothly then a gentlemen asked the question when prompted by my “What type of lifestyle do you want" slide?. He proceeded to say that “I’ m happy having a start up business, it’s like having a baby you must nurture it and give it so much attention but my personal life is struggling.” There was the famous “ BUT.” Many times we believe that working so many hours will bring us more customers, better business plans and better strategies. It is true in the beginning you need to plant seeds for your business with water and love but not under so much stress. How can anything grow under those conditions? The gentlemen cares a lot about his business and his family but could not balance it all. I let him know through my own experience and much wisdom from many teachers – that we must increase joy and fun even in the most least opportune times.

Have you ever realized how great ideas come from moments of not trying so hard?

My tip to him was to increase activities that are meaningful and creative – all right brain activity. Even when you are trying to grow a business we must still do things that make us happy and not feel like we must be working around the clock. Building a business takes patience and requires different building blocks at different stages of the game. Why jeopardize a relationship, marriage or your valuable time when you know your quality of life is suffering. The journey of building a business can be trying but working around the clock and not spending time doing the things you love will only leave your tank running on empty.

Besides by the time you get your business where you want it –it is time to change and evolve to the next level. Might as well take care of yourself along the journey! Here is my compelling advice to share: If you find your tank running on empty find simple fun ways that increase joy and decrease stress to refuel.

By fueling your tank with smiling, golf, painting with your child, park with kids, flying a kite, reading a chapter from your favorite book you will immediately connect with a less stressful side of you and realize that you will naturally begin to feel happier.

As we all know - running on empty only leaves us left stranded, exhausted and drained. Fuel your life with just a few things that make you happy even when you are under the most intense circumstances.

Is there any other way to get back on the road?

Does Self Destruction Lead to Greatness?

2010-08-10T08:56:00.000-07:00

Does self destruction lead to greatness?

"At the edge of self destruction comes greatness"

I heard this quote from Will Smith on Oprah sometime this spring. When I did I was startled.

Did I really believe that people self destruct before great things happen?

Well it got me thinking and I started to wonder how this may apply to my life: hated my job in software – left to pursue my own business. Did I self destruct? Maybe. Well I did prolong the leap of faith with self doubt accompanied by many sleepless nights. I was coaching a client the other day striving to maintain multiple businesses. He was doing all he could to be hard on himself, losing sleep and unhappy, thinking that would bring him the results he wants. Self destructive maybe? Another client who has some time off during the summer is contemplating how to spend the time by feeling guilty about what she chooses. Self destruct yes? Another client was convincing herself through resistance to change that she loved her job, only to realize after a nice vacation she needed to mentally de-clutter on how to begin steps to a more fulfilling job. All of these are examples of how we could self destruct mentally before greatness appears.

Does self destruct lead to greatness? Do we change our lives when we feel bad enough to want better or follow a nagging desire? My theory is this: You do have to be in a place of craving more, not just wanting, exhausted of the mundane days, not just uncomfortable. Because feeling bad enough, accompanied by mental self destruct can lead to greatness. You have the feeling for a reason. It pushes us to the next level of our transformation –like going from a villain to superman or women; relieving us of our own mental prison.

If you find yourself self destructing in a way that feels bad, know it could be a sign of a great change right around the corner. You may not be familiar with the feeling but look for the greatness that will come with it. We are all deserving of whatever change is in front of us: recognize the self destruct and bring on the greatness. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how much knowledge you gain about a topic you may be struggling with. What matters is that you become aware of the self destruct, think about allowing the greatness and begin the plan of action to create the change and happiness you want.

Comment here: I would be interested in seeing what comments or real life stories that you think apply to this quote or blog.

Fail Intentionally, I Dare you

2010-06-03T17:32:00.000-07:00

Fail Intentionally, I Dare You.

Why is it so hard to convince ourselves that failure is a good thing and that we need it in order to grow?

In the latest O magazine issue, Elizabeth Gilbert mentions in her article that we try so hard to be so perfect – the perfect mom, perfect dad, perfect worker, perfect entrepreneur, etc…

“The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.” -Sven Goran

We must stop and take a few minutes to understand how we can create the life we want by first trying… and then trying again.

Trying again. Like famous judge from American Idol Simon Cowell, when he failed his businesses at 30 years old, lost everything and had to move in with his parents. Now he is a successful business man and a multi-millionaire.

Trying again. Like Steve Jobs, who never finished college, got fired from his own company but still followed his intuition and ended up succeeding on his own terms.

Refusing to fail. Like closing a business down that you are no longer passionate about but because you refuse to fail, you continue to struggle.

Refusing to fail. Like letting go of some outside commitments that you no longer desire but have a strong belief you will fail others if you quit.

Seth Godin says in his latest blog –“16 questions for free agents” Is perfect important? (Do you feel the need to fail privately, not in public?)

Failing and doing things wrong is part of how we learn. How else would we contrast differences and lead lives that matter. If we continuously strive for perfection then we will never try anything new like learning a new language, starting a business, creating a new program offering or showing up at a networking event not knowing what you will say. I say fail intentionally because it takes the pressure off. It allows you to be really bad at something. It allows the mind to say “Well, I don’t care. I am going to do it anyway”. Even if the thing you write, draw, create or present isn’t perfect, at least you started it. You began the first step because you allowed yourself to fail.

So go ahead and try it. Fail intentionally, fail on purpose. I dare you.

Squeezing or Surrendering?

2010-05-06T13:16:00.000-07:00

Are you Squeezing or Surrendering? Are you tightly holding a vision of the outcome of an important goal in your life or career? And by tightly, I mean squeezing so hard there’s no room for deviation or for bigger and better opportunity? In her book Return to Love, Marianne Williamson said, “In order for us to achieve anything in our life, we must learn to surrender the attachment of the results. “ I couldn’t get this out of my mind because I believe most of what we do in our careers and businesses greatly relate to the end-results we are trying to achieve.

What else is there right?

I am referring to identifying what it is you want and surrendering by relaxing into the results. Surrendering in this sense does not mean giving up; it means letting go. Letting go after stating your intention. Letting go after identifying your target client. Letting go after determining what marketing strategy would best fit your business. Instead of the surrender Williamson speaks of, we squeeze. And when we squeeze our intentions into specific result parameters, we leave no room for other opportunities to come our way that could be bigger and better.

What would happen if we let go of our attachment to the outcome?

There is a concept called “ zen mind, “ or “beginners mind.” Surrender is a process of emptying your mind.-“ Empty your mind for you cannot allow anything else in if you do not.” We are not teachable when are minds are too full. There are many ways we can go about doing this including doing The Work of Byron Katie, using Brooke Castillo’s method of Self Coaching 101, journaling thoughts to detoxify and clean your mind, or by hiring a coach or mentor. We must keep our eyes wide open, our hearts full of love and our minds cleansed. Martha Beck reminds us that the cleaner your mind, the cleaner your energy, Surrendering can be freeing. Once you state your intention, you can relax your mind from trying to control the outcome; as if you wrote your business intentions on a balloon and then let it go in the air.

In surrendering, you are doing many things:

• Stating your desires to the Universe
• Clearing your controlling worries so you can stay in an open focus frame of mind
• Practicing faith that whatever your results are, they will be achieved with your highest good in mind.

So many times we are trying to control the outcome and we exhaust our selves. I found myself doing this in my own coaching practice. I needed more clients. I needed to work harder. I realized it was becoming exhausting. When I gave up and just surrendered, I allowed the Universe to bring people to me that wanted to be coached. I can’t control who needs me! I had to allow it to happen. Now when my old thoughts start creeping in, I empty my mind and surrender to the possibilities. I invite you to take one thing in your life you know you are attached to and surrender the results. Surrender to the possibilities instead of trying to create what you believe is supposed to happen. The Universe, God, bigger powers have others things in mind for you that could be much grander. If you have thoughts like: “If I don’t have clients I can’t pay my bills.” “I’m only as good as the last sales transaction.” “I need my revenue stream to increase.” Then let your surrendering mentality bring you all the opportunities, not just the one you were squeezing. It’s interesting how old thoughts will return and try to control you. But remember, we are not our thoughts. Identify what you want, surrender, cleanse your mind and be in the energy of allowing all possibilities into your life. What goal are you so attached to that you know you are squeezing the end results to death? I challenge you to surrender.

Can Your Desire to Win Be Draining You?

2010-03-01T13:11:00.000-08:00

Have you ever realized that when you are trying to win or achieve something, we as human beings get so competitive. Sometimes we are competing with others but what really happens is we begin to compete with ourselves. We push ourselves hard, work long hours, and strive to be the best even when it feels bad for us. Our bodies begin to feel exhausted and tired even when we reach for the last cup of coffee for a caffeine jolt. In Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth he discusses a story about a guy who is trying to win a competition in archery. The guy is skilled and has trained a long time to prepare for this match. However, once he begins the match Eckhart quotes “His need to win is draining him of his own power. “

What does this mean?

That when all you think about is winning and you become stressed about losing – it robs you of showing up as your smart, skilled talented self. When we want something bad enough we are always willing to push ourselves and work hard. But when the time comes to present a presentation or lead a team on a project, we forget to be confident in the work we have done to prepare. We can be passionate about the things we want but passion can turn into stress- the more we want it the more it can become stressful because we are so attached to the outcome. If you truly want to be in your personal power -find energy in your focus. Instead of worrying about the project and exhausting yourself –set time aside to plan instead of dragging the worry around with you till the deadline. When you set time aside to focus on the specific task at hand –you allow all of your focus and energy to just be on this assignment or game. You naturally find energy in focus without the stress. So the next time you feel exhausted and powerless –ask yourself these 2 questions.

1) Is my need to win draining me from my best self?
2) Am I confident that I have planned and prepared the best I can?

Personal power is your ability to know you have the confidence and resources to overcome a challenge without being stressed. The opposite is helplessness. So the next time you set out for a tennis match, speaking engagement , important sales call or assignment, be sure that your need to win doesn’t drain you of your own personal power. Trust yourself and let confidence and personal power lead the way.

Quote to share: "Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose." ~ Bill Gates

Why Intentions Won't Matter If They Are Attached To a Limiting Belief

2010-02-01T07:55:00.000-08:00

I was at the gym today and realized that some people may be working out for the first time in a while. Including myself. I took a 2 week break for the holidays thinking it would be nice but it only left me restless, unenergized and sluggish. I left thinking that maybe, just maybe I got a lot of calcium because of all the cheese I ate during the holidays. Yikes. We all have good intentions this year, especially these upcoming days and weeks in January, but remember a great intention must not be hanging from a conflicting belief. For example, if we have a great intention of losing weight we may a) sign up for the gym, maybe hire a trainer b) buy new gym clothes for motivation c ) set days of the week in our outlook calendar to ensure attendance. These are 3 different action items that should lead to weight loss, a better body, energy and plain out feeling good. But what really happens to us when we don’t follow through. When 3 weeks in January go by and we gradually make up reasons not to workout. Could it be that our intentions are not aligned with our beliefs?

Intention vs Conflicting Limiting Beliefs

Intention - I want a wildly successful business
Limiting belief - I am worthless without clients

Intention I want to be healthy
Limiting Belief –I am not deserving of being thin

Intention - I want a loving relationship
Limiting Belief - I don't believe I am capable of loving

As you can see all of these beliefs block us mentally with our true intentions. Our mind begins to slowly present obstacles that limit us in our own thinking. This leaves us feeling stuck and then possibly tossing out our true intentions which is what we really desire. If you find yourself in this situation. Here are a few good tips to help you move forward with intention that aligns with your desire:

1) Write down all of the emotions and thoughts that come up when your internal voice starts talking trash or when you begin to feel resistance to your intentions.This will help you identify the thought or conflicting belief and allow the mind to see things objectively on paper. Try not to judge what you are writing. If you can see your emotions objectively on paper then it sometimes allows you to separate yourself from the situation.

2) Try to align your thoughts with the action you want that supports your intention.

3) Gently forgive yourself -if you ate bad, did not have a productive day or didn’t go to the gym, gently forgive yourself and move on.

4) Know the “Why?“ of your intention so when you feel like backing out you know why you wanted it in the first place

5) Prioritize your intentions to your top 3’s so that you set yourself up with accomplishment I am passionate about well being and aligning intentions with beliefs that serve you, rather than conflict. Emotional wellness is the most important thing you can give yourself this year. Nurturing your core –your physical body, your mind and your soul is the best medicine. What you feel inside is reflective on the outside. So take the time to match up your intentions with your true desire to be sure that you don’t have a limiting belief that is leaving you feeling stuck. Take a different approach to your intentions this year and drop the conflicting limiting beliefs once and for all.

Vision Board Workshop

2010-01-18T08:39:00.000-08:00

I am holding a workshop on Wednesday, February 17 at 6:30 pm to all who would enjoy putting a vision board together that matches up with their desires and goals for 2010. This is a fun creative workshop that allows you to walk away with your own personalized vision board to help guide you this year. Whether you want a new relationship, new career, desire to be healthier or want more meaning and purpose -this is a great first step that I invite you to participate in. If you are interested please send me an email in the subject line -VISION Board class and I will send you details. Limit 10 per class. Bring your creativity! $28.00 per person, supplies included

My vision board experience.
A couple of years ago when I went through my own personal change -I really didn't know what I wanted in my life. People would ask me - I said " I do not know." I would journal -still nothing. Then one day I decided to break out of my pattern and do something different. I watched a law of attraction show on Oprah and they mentioned boards were a powerful way to help your subconscious mind guide you. It was a creative way to get started with less pressure than writing on paper or talking to people about my lost direction. Long story short - I got more answers from my board that I still have today along with 4 other boards. I am a strong believer in them especially when you may not be able to articulate what you want or how you want to feel. My first board guided me to a new career that I love and introduced me to hobbies that I never knew I enjoyed. Join this fun creative workshop to help support you through the new year.

To get you more familiar with a vision board or have more questions. click below or copy paste.
http://christinekane.com/blog/how-to-make-a-vision-board/

What Are You Really Hungry For in 2010?

2010-01-12T13:52:00.000-08:00

Are you considering your goals for next year? What will you do to improve your career, family, health and/or finances? How will you take life to the next level? There are so many things to ponder and so many questions to answer. Want to make goal setting easier? Then take the pressure off and honestly answer this one big question: “What are you really hungry for?” Translate the word “goals” to “What do I really want?”

Here is a tidbit of information when it comes to goals. Most of us believe that we are after something specific and measurable; in reality we are craving “the feeling” of something. Example: John wants his own business, but what he really wants is the feeling of having financial freedom. Mary wants to share her knowledge by writing and publishing a book, but what she really wants is the feeling of being connected. Dan wants to be adventurous and skydive, but what he is really looking for is the feeling of empowerment and encouragement.

No matter what it is we are craving for the New Year, chances are we’re after the feeling result more than the actual measurable goal itself. Try this: as you list the goals you have for 2010, be sure to include next to it “What will it feel like when I achieve it?”

Why is this important? Because you can start focusing on feeling that way right now instead of waiting to attain the measurable result of the goal. Create and participate in activities that give you the feeling NOW. John wants his own business so he can feel financial freedom. Instead of waiting until he actually owns his own business and is bringing in money, he can start feeling financial freedom now by increasing his knowledge and maybe subscribing to Entrepreneur Magazine. Dan continues to participate in activities that increase his confidence in order to pursue a more fulfilling job.

Here are 3 Tips to help you get started for the New Year.

Have a very loose relationship with your goals. Try not to hold the results so tightly that you go into tunnel vision instead of staying in an open focused and relaxed state. We lose focus in the details and tend to forget why we want whatever it is after all. Trust that if it is truly meant for you to achieve, conquer or have – you will be planting the seeds and doors will start opening. If by mid-year you care to scratch out and replace a goal, allow yourself the opportunity to do so. Be sure you are not doing this because you have some fear. Give yourself permission to toss the goal if you truly don’t want it anymore.

When thinking about what you really want this year - be specific. Studies show that people who commit to their goals by writing them down in specifics are more likely to not only achieve them, but to prosper from them. Having a vision in front of you is truly important and taking the goal out of your mind and putting it on paper is important. Why? Because the things you desire go from a daydream in your mind to reality on paper.

Be sure to choose it because you truly desire it. A lot of times we get overwhelmed because we want to be good parents, provide for our kids, become the best employee etc. That is what we are supposed to want, right? Wrong! Choose your goals this year based on what will make you feel good. What will give you a skip in your step each day? You don’t have to place things like “get married; have children; or stay in a job you have outgrown” if you don’t want to. Make decisions based on what you really want and not what you think you “should” want.

Really think about what you want this year and try a nonconventional approach by starting your brainstorming conversations about goals with these two powerful questions: “What am I really hungry for?” and “What do I want to feel like this year?”

Last year I was hungry for more inspiration, laughter and creativity. I am happy to say that the book I co-authored this year (Changes of the Heart) gave me inspiration, my family, friends, dog and silly personality brought me laughter, and the art of coaching and writing allowed me to be creative.

What are you really hungry for? What do you want to feel like in 2010? Once you have determined that, then you can align with goals and activities that create those feelings for you. Try this approach for 2010. It’s the best way to satisfy your hunger!

Ned is a life coach, author and speaker in Houston. Her latest collaboration is in the book Changes of the Heart. For more information on her life coach offerings visit www.nedrios.com

How to Identify and Know your life purpose

2009-10-19T08:19:00.000-07:00

I have been doing a lot of talks at companies these last couple of months that are all relevant to wellness. One slide on my presentation that captivates the audience is on "Knowing your Purpose " and who you are servicing. I am reading the book called Blue Zones that discusses some case studies regarding life lessons from people in the world that have lived the longest. The 4 places in the world that they considered the Blue Zones were: Okinawa, Japan, Sardinia, Italy, Nicoya Peninsula, Costa Rica and Loma Linda, California. They interviewed many people, well over the age of 80 and many of them centenarians. The one question they kept asking these folks were:

What do you eat? What do you do physically for workout? and How the heck are you so witty, strong and vivacious well into the 90's? After collaborating much data they realized one commonality amongst all of these people:

They all ate foods they enjoy in moderation (fava beans and wine were rated high, along with goats milk)
They socialized plenty with neighbors, family and friends three to four days a week
Most of the physical activity they did involved walking to work, farming, cooking and moving their bodies through normal day to day activities.
But the one thing that each person mentioned over and over again was they all knew their purpose and they equated that heavily on the longevity and happiness of their life.

Why is this so important?

Your goal may not be to become a centenarian but it is great to hear secrets from people who have already applied these disciplines.

This month I encourage you to think about your purpose: It doesn't need to be a long drawn out 10 page document - unless you want it to be. Just jot down what you believe is your purpose for your life. Keep in mind it must be meaningful to you.

If you don't know where to start

Tips to find your life purpose ( from page 247 Blue Zones book)

Craft a Personal mission statement:
Why do you wake up in the morning?
How do you make a difference in the world?
Consider what you are passionate about
How you enjoy using your talents and what is truly important to you

One thing I realize about purpose is that it is always the driving force in what we do each day unless we are denying our selves our truth. My purpose is to empower people to follow their heart and what makes them happy. Everything I do in my coaching practice must align with my purpose or else I do not do it. I take on clients, speaking engagements etc that are all aligned with my purpose. It keeps me focused and on track with what matters most to me.

What I know for sure about Purpose
Always gives you inspiration
Sometimes comes in the form of a hobby or job
Gives you natural energy without using will power
Feels good
Never feels like work
Feels like you are connected with your higher self
Feels like you are making a difference in the world
Is your personal choice
Feels like freedom
Opens your heart
Connected to love
Changes over time
Is a feeling more than a destination

Please post you "Personal Mission Statement" in the comment field or email me with it - we would love to hear from you even if you want to remain anonymous. I may post in the next newsletter.

Creating a New Normal

2009-08-28T09:19:00.000-07:00

It appears that many of us are going through possible changes: changes at work, feelings about the new economy, changes at home with housing and job loss.

I wanted to create this article to express the importance of making transition changes a little bit easier. We are all having our own personal experiences due to the constant changes in our country. How can we make it easier for ourselves? I want you to create a new normal. Don't get trapped in what it used to be like. It is like living in your shadow or like looking in the rear view mirror of your car - it's safe for driving temporarily. Creating a new normal is healthy because it allows you to live in the present moment of your life. It also allows you to create hope and/or optimism. Accepting the newness of change and not fighting it is the first step.

Why create a new normal?

1) It relieves you of looking over your shoulder of what could have been
2) It relieves you from stressful thoughts

3) You feel better because you are focused on the "now"

So as you go through changes, know that your new normal is just sitting there waiting for you. What do I mean by that? You may have had to downsize your house. You may be a qualified professional but had to take a lower paying job. Are you fighting it or accepting it? Do you have skills you can gain from the new position? All I want to convey is that no matter what the change is, we only have two choices we "embrace it or resist it". Have you ever heard the saying "Kicking and Screaming ? " I know that when I feel myself fighting with reality I picture myself kicking and screaming. Why? Because I am resisting the situation, even though I know it is best for me.

So when you think thoughts that create a visual of kicking and screaming, realize you are fighting with reality. Take a moment and ask yourself:

Is this part of my new normal?
Why am I kicking and screaming?
How long will I allow myself to kick and scream ?
Is it really something I want and is it good for me?
Can I change it? What can I change?

Choose to accept the new change even if it is not what you think you wanted. Sometimes we need to trust that the change that happened is moving our life in a new direction. Ronald Brill, was let go of his job in his 50s, just shy of retirement. He embraced that change as a new opportunity to create the largest home-improvement warehouse store, which is now Home Depot. Ever wonder what happened to Tiger Woods' performance in 2003-2004? He didn't win a single tournament. Not because he wasn't good anymore, but because he withdrew himself to improve his swing. He completely re-engineered his golf swing. He came back with an even better record than in previous years.

The next time you are confronted with a change in your life, take a look at this article and take one thing you believe will help create a new normal for you. When we stop fighting with ourselves, we immediately gain emotional wellness and a healthier life. Trust the change your life is going through, it could be your new normal.

Judgements and labels -oh my!

2009-07-06T09:07:00.000-07:00

I was asked to speak at an event this past week to women who are going through chemotherapy. At first when they asked me I was very reluctant to accept the invitation -for one my inner self wanted to run. What would I say to them ? They are going through an intense treatment and I was suppose to come in and create an uplifting talk -I was so afraid to accept the invite but then I realized I had to become uncomfortable and do it. These women want knowledge, these women want inspiration and they want to feel confident about coming out of there treatments as a survivor.
I prepared some things to discuss and really needed to come out of my thinking -like " This won't be fun they are sick", " I won't be able to inspire them" - among other thoughts I realized this was holding me back from being authentic - holding me back from being the coach that I want to be for them. As a coach I am usually adding value to peoples lives because I connect with them from my own personal experience. I began to start my talk out by telling them that I didn't want to do the talk and that I wasn't qualified but that I did have an aunt who had breast cancer and survived. And that was my personal experience and that was enough.
I knew the truth would set me free and they knew I empathized with them as well as not trying to downplay their cancer challenge.
At the end of the program I realized I learned so much from these women -they were brave, thoughtful and human.
I was labeling there illness and not forecasting positive expectations for them from my own thinking and judgements.
I knew at the end of the day I was so grateful to have this experience and meet these wonderful women that battle cancer and chemotherapy. They lose their hair and still have a smile on there face. It taught me a lesson -to continue to do work on my thinking when I feel so much judgement and to treat people as human beings, no matter what each of us is going through. The bottom line is we all want human connection -wether you are surviving breast cancer or survived financial distress - there is no doubt in my mind that beneath all of the judgments and labels , we are all the same at our core. Kind, open hearted and a need to feel connected.

For more info on Chemoflage -go to www.chemoflage.com

It is a wonderful organization for helping women take care of themselves while going through chemotherapy. The meetings take place in a Nordstrom location one a month or quarterly. A wonderful woman name Cookie is the Founder.

Giving Back - Branding and Philanthropy

2009-06-17T12:28:00.000-07:00

So I am not sure if you have heard of a company called Tom's shoes.

It is run by an entrepreneur that set out to create shoes for children in need and then decided to give back to the community by donating a pair of shoes to a child in need for each shoe he sold. He traveled to Argentina in 2006 and then realized that most children there do not have shoes. His idea of creating shoes came from his desire to help the children he saw in Argentina. So when Blake set out a business plan he included –each pair of shoes he sold he would give a pair to a child in need of shoes and personally deliver them twice a year. www.tomshoes.com

This is a great example of my formula that I believe in –

Inspiration + Action = Passion and Results

So when I read this and think about his philanthropy and brilliance- I am at awe with his passion and the fact that he took action in his life and committed to these children. So it is almost like the children came first and the creativity of his shoes are secondary. Why am I sharing this with you?

So if you are a creative business person wanting to pursue a business from an idea you have –think about how you can cultivate the passion from this story and incorporate a business plan that will give you a sense of truly giving back. Blake has set out to build a business by creating shoes but he has also placed passion to truly help community in a way that has touched my life.

I am so passionate about his story because helping children is profound, helping children in need of a simple necessity is gracious. Brave. Generous.
For those who are not entrepreneurs –think about how you can help.

In today’s economy things are getting different – we are becoming conscious in our living and choosing simplicity over extravagance.

Btw-Tom's stands for tomorrow….. How can you apply passion in your business plan or your life and give back to the community? I hope you will find it is a brilliant way to open your heart, give back and grow your business…….

What do Wellness and Careers have in common?

2009-05-12T14:36:00.000-07:00

Do you find yourself daydreaming about a great idea for a business?
Ever wonder what ever happened to the prototype model you built to manufacturer or sell? All of us have passion within us -it is whether or not we act upon that urge or desire.

When you are not following a passion, yearning or desire in your lifetime then at some point it may effect your health. Pam Slim wrote recently in the New York Times “real creative urges, those we are meant to express, don’t go away. If ignored, they bother us, effect our health, fester and eventually turn into the living dead.” Pam slim. Click here for the article.

Like a warning on a pack of cigarettes , a nutrition label that reads saturated fats –it is like a slow death engaging in a career or job with no meaning, no fulfillment and feelings of no purpose. We all have a calling, a creative idea or something that we would like to tap into that has always felt like complete fun. I have been coaching for about a year and a half now and realized that so many clients I speak with want something else or something different. Whether they are content in there jobs or completely dislike there job. Some other clients I have become productive artists, Design consultants, follow a career path that fits there true desire or try new things like music, photography, art, cooking or rock climbing. It is whatever is going to launch there creativity to build on that enthusiasm to act on the dream.

I asked two girlfriends what they would love to do for a living if they could dismiss thoughts of security of money. One said she would own or work in a flower shop, the other expressed an interest in being a personal shopper. I wonder who else I could ask that would give me a different answer than what they are doing today.

What happens to us when we begin to dream something we have always wanted to do? What thoughts start running through our minds? What about the bills? How about the house note? Can’t toss the lifestyle? So if you could stop the thoughts and think about your well being first. How much longer would you live if you were happier, if you could pursue the passion of interest or talent you would love to try? There was survey done regarding the number of people who were happy by just knowing they were pursuing a goal that would lead them to something they truly desired -75 % were much happier.

Well most people spend 80% of there time at work. So you can imagine what happens to us when we become numb to what we really want and it is were we spend the most time. We are no longer living in the era were you wait for retirement in order to pursue a profession that fits you. Our emotional health suffers when we begin jeopardizing our well being for our true calling.

Creating change for your wellness is a key component in living a longer and healthier life. If you have been itching to take a leap into a business that you would love to own, or pursue an interest in a career that will fulfill you
- keep in mind it is never too late.

What career, job or passion could you pursue that would allow you to feel good, create passion and maintain your emotional well being?

How do you know if your job is robbing your wellness:

You are not placing your needs or happiness as a priority to yourself
You participate in unhealthy activities too often -smoking, drinking, excessive shopping, etc
Find yourself daydreaming about what could be
Desperately thinking thoughts of just about any job you could do in order to make money and be happier

How do you create change for your well being? Just by becoming aware of the change you need, making it a priority and taking small steps to make that happen.

What do Passion, Talent and Risk have in common?

2009-04-20T12:26:00.000-07:00

So we all watched how powerful it was to see Susan Boyle on "Britain's Got Talent".. We were all amazed at her surprising talent. She got up there and sang her heart out and became an instant star because of a hidden talent that she never used before. So I was thinking about people and there true talents.

Do people really hide their talents? Do we believe there are limited opportunities to use a talent or passion? OR Are the hidden talents buried away or used for hobbies? Either way I believe each of us has a true talent and gift to offer the world. We all may not be great singers but we all have a talent that we have yet exposed to the world for fear of rejection, failure or fear of not feeling like the talent is good enough.

How will we ever know if we do not try?
Imagine if Susan Boyle did not take the risk of attending Britain's Got Talent.

What would have happened? Well first and foremost we would not have been blessed with an awesome singer in our culture. Secondly, she would have never revealed her true calling and passion that made her happy.

What else surprised us from her performance? Maybe she didn't come wrapped up in a pretty box with a nice bow. Did our judgements get in the way of believing she could sing? I think that she knew she could sing but didn't know how well. So if she never took the risk she would have always thought modestly of her talent to sing. She gave the world the opportunity to measure her talent and it came back to her more than she could have imagined.

Do you have a talent that you feel modest about? What is your hidden passion? What gift would you give the world that we could love and enjoy?

How could you take one step towards exposing your talent or passion today?
What risk would you take?

Susan Boyle did -and the rest is history.